"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us..."
-EM Foster
What is it about old stories, memories, books and photographs that bring so much wonder into my life? Is it reading about their hardships, their triumphs and struggles that pull me in? I picked up this excellent find at our local library last week, and i don't think i have ever loved a cookbook so much. "The all new Frannie Farmer Cookbook" published in 1959 has sat on the shelves of the Sanbornton Library since 1967. I have found how to boil and egg and make egg salad. How to make potato pancakes and wilted lettuce?! Every question i have had over the last week about cooking, Frannie has answered. I looked on Amazon, they have a new re-print of this wonder, but, yet....i find myself loving this edition. This used worn, loved, cooked over piece of history.....I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but one thing is for sure, I'll re-new this book come Saturday.
She always has knitting needles in her worn and delicate hands. She's fast, quick and precise. She's held a passion for books in her heart, which carried down to my mother. I always saw on a different page than my mother and grandmother. But now i know all the stories and life there is within the walls of the library. I'm slowly beginning to love books and can't get enough of them......I'm picking up the knitting needles and carrying on my grandmother with every stitch... every over, under and pull through.... When i do, i see her tanning on the front porch laughing at my brothers running ramped around the yard.....i think of her soft lap and how comforting it felt to sit there when my parents were away, always with an orange bowl of ice cream in hand. She is a magnificent lady, my grandmother. She has overcome, she has found happiness where it is to be found, and she has always loved me....History. They married at eighteen. My mother was born when she was nineteen. She set up house and took care of a husband....of a baby. She bound her breasts, as it was healthier for a baby to drink formula. I imagine she had times that she would look at her baby, at her husband and think, what am i doing here? How will my life go and how will we get by? She gave birth two more times and then began working.....She was 23......History.
My mother was in Trinity college at 19, and that is the summer she met my father. My mother went to college. My grandmother must have been proud of that. My mother gave birth to her first baby at 23, my parents had been married for six months when they decided to begin a family.....history. My parents struggled when my brothers and i were young, but they always got by and i don't remember a time that our house wasn't filled with the love my parents shared with each other. My mother stayed home, as she couldn't leave her little baby with anyone else. She cut coupons, she hung the clothes out to dry, dad cut wood and heated our ranch with it, she made homemade pizza and most everything was from scratch. She grew a garden and let my brothers and i explore in the woods that surrounded our home. We were barefoot, knee deep in mud for a good 4 months of the year. She is and was a good mother. And yet, as we grew and i watched her, sometimes at night, she would sit down on the couch and pull out her knitting needles. Carrying my grandmother through every stitch.....History.
At 19 i was in college, studying in a "Male's" field and feeling strong and on top of the world. I did not give birth and have a house to keep up. At 23 i was still in college, ready to graduate and work construction. I was under the impression, at the time, that i would never meet a man that would full fill my dreams, it was simply impossible. A husband for this girl, was out of site and hopeless. I graduated and got a job offer. I bought steel toed boots. I drove down to Bennington and there he was..... History.
I'm not sure where my history will end up or where this beautiful life will take me, but i do know that so far, everything has not gone according to my plan. It has gone way, way better than i could have ever planned. We have been married for 6 months now and i'm 26. We are talking about a family......but not jumping in just yet. Its exciting to talk, to plan, but we're also enjoying this really special time right now. Just Jason, Charlie & I on our homestead. I'm getting time to discover new things about myself.....things that I'm interested in. We're planning a garden, our first garden for the spring. I'm saving egg cartons to start my seedlings in February.
And in the evenings and weekends, I'm photographing our life and cutting coupons. We're buying healthy, local and organic foods. I'm putting them into recipes and cooking from scratch. My husband and i are filling this home with love. A love that will forever be present for each other and our future children. I'm hanging my clothes on my drying rack by our wood stove....and finally, I'm sitting down to pick up my knitting needles.
Through and through....my mother & grandmother are with me, helping me grow.
:: History.
